A hope to regain

 Dear love,

You are far away from me. I can't feel your touch and hold your hand. I know we don’t meet very often. We can’t. The distance between us doesn’t allow us to. I cant call you in the middle of night because of your medical issues. I know I can’t call you in the middle of the night outside my home just to have a glimpse of you. Because you won’t come. I can’t call you to have a mini date at our nearby office. Because it isn’t possible to arrange. I know I m throwing tantrums at you for silly little things. I m sorry for all rubbish things. I miss you more than ever, after that.

I know It’s not possible for us to hold hands when we want to, hug each other when we wish to or kiss each other when we need to. It’s not possible for us to be there for each other on every time.

Missing you reminds me how much you are worth it, hearing your voice and seeing your smile makes hurt disappear.

 Sometimes I lay on my bed in the darkness of my room and sob, because I miss you so much and can’t do anything about it. Sometimes I delete unsent texts. Because I know they would be useless knowing the distance between us. Many times, I don’t tell you the little things I want from you, because you won’t be able to give me those. Many times I am crying on the call, because I  miss you badly. You don’t know, but many times I wet my pillows at night and still call you  with a cheerful morning smile just to make your day bright! Every goodbye is a reminder of how precious every minute is with you.

I always text you, and call you whenever possible. It hurts so much when you don’t have time for me. It shatters me down inside, when you don’t value me. It breaks me down when you don’t realize that – this is all what we have! When you fail to understand that phone, messages are our only hope because we can’t meet! What I do for you sometimes, is unknown, even to you. But I know it’s a huge sacrifice, that not every girl is willing to make.

Girls want easy relationships. They need their guy to live in their city so they can meet, go on dates, demand gifts, have little hang-outs, but not every girl is willing to ‘wait’. Girls cheat behind their boyfriends’ backs, but I’ve been true to you since the day we met. I never thought about anyone, but you, and still sometimes you hurt me. Sometimes I think I can’t take it anymore and inside I’m prepared to end it all, but then when I call you up and hear your voice, I mentally change my decision. Then I go on blaming my destiny, but then, it doesn’t change anything. We are still the same. Miles away. Deeply in love.

I won’t say I want dates from you, or gifts from your side. I don’t want anything, but your time. A little time everyday. I don’t ask you to stick to your phone 24/7, but I do ask of you to talk to me for at least 5-10 minutes. Ask me how I am, how was my day, what’s new in my life? Take interest in what I do all day long, it will make me happy! I know we can’t watch movies together, but if you will watch a movie I suggest and will tell me that you watched it, it will make me more happy than anything! The little things that I tell you to do. The little things that you ask of me. They’re the glue of our relationship. The day they vanish, our relationship won’t be able to hold itself and will fall down.

I feel in love with you and still I am and still be forever if things have changed for whatever reasons I am still here for you. I think for you everyday all the time. That is how much I needed you and your love. I know distance is worth it . Because one day we will be together and distance will be the things of past.

I’m doing every effort to save it. You also, please do your part. I can’t say all this to you, just hoping that maybe someday you understand. But today, I really wish that you understand......

Love you❤